NEW YORK, NY – The Lollipop Omen, a little known technical indicator, predicts a big upswing in the stock market!
Frank Lake
DAN RATHER IS AN ALIEN
NEW YORK – Dan Rather went on MSNBC and confirmed to Lawrence O’Donnell that he is, in fact, an alien.
ELVIS GOES TO GRACELAND WITH Michael Jackson
MEMPHIS – To mark the 33rd anniversary of his reported death, Elvis went to Graceland and he brought Michael Jackson with him.
BOTOX SHORTAGE GRIPS BEVERLY HILLS!
BEVERLY HILLS – Plastic surgeons across the city have confirmed a serious Botox shortage. There’s fighting in the streets!
MEXICAN CANTINA TO BE BUILT AT THE ALAMO
SAN ANTONIO, TX – A city panel cleared the way for construction of a Mexican cantina at The Alamo.
ATTACK OF THE TERROR BABIES!
LAREDO, TX – Texas lawmakers have confirmed that Terror Babies are crawling across the border and heading for… you!
BOZO THE PRESS SECRETARY
WASHINGTON – Following the advice of Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), President Obama fired Robert Gibbs and hired… Bozo.