HUMAN BATTERY
Man Can Charge Phones In His Hand! Albert Andillo didn’t want his daughter Ana to have a smartphone. It was a battle that Andillo—like millions of other American parents—lost. “She’s … READ MORE
Technology
ROBOT OVERLORDS ABORT U.S.A. INVASION!
“IT WOULD’VE BEEN TOO CRUEL,” SAYS HEAD ROBOT, “LIKE DROP-KICKING A KITTEN.” In June of 2019, the small, sluggish burg of Constant Falls, the government designated Georgia “Ground Zero” in … READ MORE
RUSSIANS HACKED MY DVR!
KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN – Eastside resident Eugene Halfstack, 88, claims that the Russian government hacked into his cable, heavily dictating what content that he can access. He first noticed this issue … READ MORE
OBAMA SEIZES CONTROL OF THE INTERNET
The White House reportedly announced that President has taken full control of the internet – issuing an Executive Order to do so.
PENTAGON TO BUILD TERMINATORS
WASHINGTON – The Department of Defense is building “Terminators” to defend the government against enemies – foreign AND domestic.
MAN CHARGED WITH MURDERING COMPUTER
MUMBAI – In one of the most controversial cases in legal history, a man is being charged with murder for destroying a computer.