WASHINGTON, DC – Sources close to Hillary Clinton say she will announce her run for President.
Politics
OBAMA HIRES NEW WHITE HOUSE STAFF
WASHINGTON – Obama is shaking up his White House staff and wants an “Alice In Wonderland” theme for his re-election year.
OBAMA LOSING HIS HEARING?
WASHINGTON – There are Beltway rumors that President Obama is losing his hearing from a rare auditory disease.
GRAND WARLOCK PREDICTS OBAMA 2012 DEFEAT
Mexico’s Grand Warlock predicted US President Barack Obama would fail to win re-election in 2012.
JIMMY CARTER HEADS TO NORTH KOREA
ATLANTA – Former President Jimmy Carter has reportedly headed to North Korea to help with the transition of power.
FEDS TO OPEN U.S. BORDERS
The White House will announce new “open borders” policy with Mexico and Canada. “All are welcome!”
RICK PERRY WISHES AUDIENCE "HAPPY EASTER"
NEW HAMPSHIRE – Rick Perry continues his gafffetastic campaign. He told an audience last night: I hope the Easter Bunny is good to y’all.”
BILL CLINTON: "I WANT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012"
LITTLE ROCK, AR – Bill Clinton wants to be President again and thinks The Constitution should be amended so he can run in 2012.
OBAMA TO SEND MARINES TO AUSTRALIA
CANBERRA – President Obama, worried about the Australian threat, is deploying Marins to Australia.