The White House will announce new “open borders” policy with Mexico and Canada.  “All are welcome!”
Sources inside the White House say that the Obama Administration is planning on announcing “a new, bold, creative approach” to the border problem with Mexico.  “We are going to let everyone in that wants to come in.  It’s our little Holiday present to the world,” said a source close to an aide to a White House represenative.

The White House will reportedly keep the borders open for at least sixty days and if the experiment goes well, the President may sign an executive order keeping the borders open indefinitely.
“The U.S. government will save an enormous amount of money when we eliminate the Border Patrol and open the borders.  The Republicans are always wanting to get rid of government agencies and the President finally heard them… He’s getting rid of the Border Patrol, and the border,” a Senior Adviser told WWN.
The source told WWN that the White House asked demographic experts from our nation’s top universities to determine how many people could “comfortably” live in the United States without straining resources.   The experts – from Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Notre Dame, Vanderbilt and The Citadel – concluded that the U.S. could accommodate 700 million people right now.  “But in ten years, with modern housing technology and better distribution of natural resources and food, the U.S. could  handle over 2 billion people.

The Administration feels that an extra 300-400 million people will revive the economy and lift up the housing market.  “We’re going to need more of everything – houses, roads, schools, offices.  Our economy will be on fire,” said a source in the Administration.
Reports are that the White House will see how many come across the border in the first month and then calculate when the country will hit the 700 million mark.  “We think it may happen in October 2012, but we are not sure.  But when we hit 700 million, the President plans to shut the border down.  No more will be allowed in – at least until after the election.”

By January, kiosks will open up in Big Bend National Park in Texas allowing people from all across the world to scan their identity documents from their country of origin and just… get busy in America!

The idea has sparked strong opposition from Republicans and even some Democrats.  “This is insanity!  How can he open the border?  What about terrorism?  Have they gone mad?” said an aide to Speaker of the House John Boehner.
“Republicans are just racists. They only want white people in America,” said a top Democratic consultant.  “They are going to alienate the new citizens who will be making the long journey to our country.  They need to open their hearts more.”

Canadians were upset that the original plan called for the Feds open the southern U.S. border only.  “The Canadians whined and complained incessantly.  But since there’s only 34 million Canadians on the planet, the Administration decided to open the northern border as well,” said a source outside the White House.  “Most Canadians live within 90 miles of the U.S. anyway, so they practically are Americans already.”
There are rumors that the President might go to Texas to open the first border checkpoint personally.  “It’s going to be a great day for America.  The President wants to open the gates personally.”
Get ready for a flood of new Americans!

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40 thoughts on “FEDS TO OPEN U.S. BORDERS”

  1. This is insane, but they have wanted to make North America one country anyway. No borders, new ID and new currency. It has been coming for a long time. With these people in control, we will cease to exist as the US. That is their goal and we are being fundamentally transformed, as promised.

  2. This news source has as reported that the First Lady is pregnant and that alien space ships will attack the US in November. So, do you believe that borders will be opened even though no other news source has carried this information.

  3. When they open the borders and the flood comes where are the jobs going to come from? How is the government of the US going to pay for all of the extra welfare. The government is going broke!

    • Easy..They will take our jobs because they will accept less pay! Then when laid off..they will recieve OUR unemployment benefits!

  4. I never thought I would live to see the day that things are in such a deplorable state in the United States. I pray for our young American citizens. Everything is being tapped out of our resources now. If you lived all your life as an American citizen, you are low man on the totem pole. Just get sick or have a crisis and see how much help you get from our American government then. Sad days.

    • No doubt, I'd seen this before and put it in the crap pile, but honestly, Obama hinted at it, and no one but criminals want in, then back out.. This might be bunk, but at this point it doesn't matter, what we could only imagine as bunk ends up as reality, this would be a nice first…

  5. “Republicans are just racists. They only want white people in America,” said a top Democratic consultant. ”They are going to alienate the new citizens who will be making the long journey to our country. They need to open their hearts more.”
    Really? What top Democratic Consultant said this? Does this person lack the guts to attach their name to this hateful accusation?

    • So Johnny 5th grader, what jobs will they fill? Or do you thing government can just print some more money and give them all entitlements?

    • So Johnny 5th grader, what jobs will they fill? Or do you thing government can just print some more money and give them all entitlements?

    • Wrong johnny5thgrader – 'North America' is a continent. 'South America' is a continent. America is a country, and is also known as the United States of America – a sovereign country composed of fifty sovereign states.
      If you have trouble understanding the concept of sovereignty, let an adult know.
      You just failed the fifth grade and you get to stay back a grade. But if it is any consolation, you are in the same class as liberal members of congress who also have no idea what a sovereign country is all about.

    • The U.S.A. IS a country, WITH BORDERS! While we may be PART of a continent, we are a Sovereign nation……. DUH!

    • It amazes me just how stupid people like you are. Seriously did you ever hear of geography! Do you know there are continents? Did you ever learn that the United States of America is a "COUNTRY". Wait a minute…I know…you did not go to school. If I were you I would be so embarrassed that I would cease to blog…or leave my house.

  6. Do ANY of you actually "believe" this???? Please tell me you don't!!! Americans really are not THAT gullible….. Looks like we NEED to put more money into education!!! LMAOOOOOO!!!

  7. Dan ur an ignorant and forgot about about the cartels, terrorist, and we can no longer afford illegals, Comprende? Its not about being racist fool, its about protecting our country!

  8. I am disappointed and SHOCKED that there are so many stupid people that actually believe this…..It is NOT the ONION, but the same premise! Please…cool down, andenjoy the laugh. Although i believe in the premise. LMAO

  9. If any of them are smart, they will stay the HE## out of the U.S… I certainly wish I could get out!.. Who in their right mind would want to come IN!?..It's literally a sinking ship, they will just go down with the rest of us.. They, much like the wealthy on the titanic, will be shuttled to safety, though, I'm sure, while us natural born citizens will be the first to drown…

  10. Oh good, moving target practice… You know your country is sucking it when you open the borders welcoming all in, and no one bites.. They just get their business done, turn around and go home. Their pesos go further, and their unemployment rate is lower.. Can't pay them to come in unless it's to run guns to cartels for Holder and Obama's restrictive gun legislation.. They're less corrupt than our AG and his flimsy 'boss' … Just kidnap them, force them into Mexican prison, they're not going to follow through with their promise to serve justice for Fast and Furious, grab em and do what you do to your lowest of the low, it'll still be better than they deserve.

  11. is our pesident nuts? i really think he is got tobe kidding. what the hell is he thinking? we really need to get obama out of the white house now before he causes world war three! wow! what a nut job this guy is!

  12. America is a COUNTRY with BORDERS!—This marxist president we have now in the Whie house wants all illegals to infiiltrate our country for thier vote!–obummer must be GO in 2012–Hes the worst president this nation has ever had–hes NO LEADER!!

  13. If and when this ever happens ,JUST SHUT UP and work harder so you can support all of these leeches Mr ASS hole obama will make thing right wit all of these new votes that he will be getting as his next step will be you are all now OBAMA CITIZENS any thing goes .

  14. Obama is no longer worried about votes now that his regime is in full control. We are under Marshal Law now and we no longer have a right to a constitution. He is now the all mighty dictator with the power to kill any American who disrespects him or his Islamist religion. America no longer are a free people, We are under his rule and there will be no more elections only detention for ever. If you do not believe me then go out and look for the predator drones, Oh do not mind the guys with the light blue helmets they are just his weapons collection guys. It is coming sooner than you think. Enjoy this Christmas because it just may be your last in America. Guantanamo is about to get a whole lot of new residents.

  15. As much as I hate this administration and the direction of policy, this article obviously is parody spoof material meant to be tongue-in-cheek. If you think this is real, then you need some help. Consider the source, laugh and move on.

    • Why? maybe is isn't real? but Obama has opened our borders and let 17 mill. illegals in.Now to give them citizenship.Then another multy millions after that and so on.

  16. I don't believe this to be untrue. America aka United States is a country that is located in the Americas. I am an American who lives in America, the United States of America. I want our Southern border locked down, Mexico to be declared a failed state, which it is, a state of terror, an axis of evil, a country at war within its borders. Look the number of violence related deaths in Mexico in a short time is at least 50,000. The world cries out about the deaths in Syria, while they must stop, we must ask why .the U.S. and other country's have military surrounding Syria but yet the U.S. Gov't fails to protect its sovereigns from an invasion from South of the border. Just asking.

  17. Um… this is definitely not true! Mexico has failed! I’m in 5th grade. Why would Obama do that! The have terrorist, murderers, they think having slaves should be legal! They are going to come and ruin America!

    Everybody says there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.
    The Netherlands and Belgium are just as crowded as Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.
    Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.
    What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?
    How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?
    And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?
    But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.
    They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.
    Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.


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