ALABAMA – 70 dead dolphins washed ashore. It was not due to the BP Oil Spill. Authorities confirmed the deaths were caused by aliens from Planet Zeeba.
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EARTH RUNNING OUT OF AIR
SAN DIEGO – Scientists believe the world is running out of breathable air.
DEATH PENALTY FOR BP – ACCORDING TO BRAD PITT
NEW YORK, NY – If it were up to Brad Pitt – BP would have to face some serious consequences!
BP DISCOVERS OIL AT STONEHENGE
COUNTY WILTSHIRE – Archaeologists working for BP have made a startling new find at Stonehenge – oil.
BP CAUGHT USING PHOTOSHOPPED IMAGE
NEW ORLEANS – BP wants the oil spill to go away so bad that it’s resorting to extreme measures.
JUDGE THROWS TARBALLS AT LOHAN
LOS ANGELES – Judge Marsha Revel threw tarballs at Lindsay Lohan’s while sentencing her to jail.
MERPEOPLE TO BUY CONEY ISLAND
NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.