EAST HAMPTON, NY – Lady Gaga was thrown out Santos Party House in New York City last night and this morning was found in Jerry Seinfeld’s house in East Hampton.
Jerry went downstairs for his morning bran muffin when he found Lady Gaga sprawled on the kitchen floor in red leather pants and a Marie Antoinette wig. A startled Seinfeld first called Larry David to whine and moan, then he called East Hampton authorities to have “the Gaga” removed from his premises.
Lady Gaga got off the floor, sat down at the kitchen table and ate Jerry’s muffin, then gave him a “good morning finger.”  Lady Gaga said she doesn’t like 50-something jerks calling her a jerk on sports talk shows.
“Is this what musicians do now? They stalk comics?  Am I gonna find Justin Beiber in my laundry room?” Just last week Lady Gaga was moved into Jerry Seinfeld’s box at Citi Field during the Mets game, gave photographers and fans the finger and was “upgraded” to Jerry Seinfeld’s private box.
Lady Gaga said she was polite to Seinfeld.  “I only used one finger.  I didn’t think it would be appropriate to give him the double-barrels with kids in the house.”  Seinfeld immediately responded, “When did a finger become a barrel?  You can’t store anything in those barrels.  Why is it called a barrel on a gun? Maybe they were so drunk in the Wild West, they got confused and starting calling things by the wrong name. They could have called it a basket.  Put a new basket on that pistol.”  Lady Gaga fell asleep while Seinfeld was talking, as did his wife and kids.
When the East Hampton police escorted Lady Gaga out of Seinfeld’s house she had a bra malfunction which didn’t go unnoticed by local officers.  As they drove away, Officer Blanton said Jerry Seinfeld blew a raspberry toward Lady Gaga.  Apparently, the feud between Seinfeld and Lady Gaga is just beginning.
Stay tuned.

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  1. Tell Lady Gaga, that Jerry Seinfield is a married man with three kids. Let
    her find someone her own age.
    She has distasteful chuzpah!


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