MADOFF SPENDS HANNUKAH WITH ALIEN
PALM SPRINGS, FL – Continuing a terrible holiday season, Bernard Madoff was banned from Hanukkah celebrations with his family, causing him to spend the first day with an unlikely Jew – The Alien!
Monthly Archives: December 2008
ALIENS USING KOTA TOYS TO DESTROY EARTH
TOKYO, JAPAN – Just days before Christmas, evidence has been found that exposes an alien plot to destroy the Earth and enslave mankind – using toys!
BAT BOY’S HOLIDAY CARD
Bat Boy was kind enough to send the Weekly World News staff his holiday card this year. What a nice little bat boy!
MERPEOPLE TO BUY CONEY ISLAND
NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.
PhD APE BUMPS INTO SPITZER
FT. LAUDERDALE, FL – During a short break from counseling Madoff investment victims, PhD Ape ran into a client begging for help – Elliot Spitzer!
NORTH POLE REQUESTS BAILOUT
WASHINGTON, DC – Santa Claus has requested a $14 million federal bailout to avoid a crash which could cancel Christmas.
BAT BOY CLOSING IN ON MADOFF
NEW YORK, NY – Having been released on bail, Bernie Madoff is now open game for Bat Boy!
LIZARD PEOPLE PLEDGE VOTE FOR FRANKEN
ST. PAUL, MN – The Lizard People have come forward to officially cast their vote for Al Franken.
PRESIDENT DODGES ALIEN SHOES
WASHINGTON, DC – President Bush’s unlucky week continued as another shoe wielding reporter attacked him at an intergalactic press junket.
HASSELBECK CURSES BUSH
NEW YORK, NY – The View’s resident Republican was snubbed by the White House, and she isn’t going down without a fight!
