BEIJING, China – Chimpanzees are now being used for outsourced technical support.
U.S. LEASES CAPITOL DOME AS SIMPSONS BILLBOARD
Obama administration continues to cut corners.
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MICHELLE OBAMA: TURN OFF THE INTERNET!
WASHINGTON – Michelle Obama wants kids to get out and play, but how? By turning off the internet!
MEXICAN DRUG CATAPULT
TUSCON, AZ- Mexican drug cartels must resort to primitive tactics to get drugs across the US border.
SUPER VOLCANO!
YELLOWSTONE PARK, WY – Scientists announced that a super volcano exists underneath Yellowstone National Park.
TACO BELL MEAT
MONTGOMERY, AL – After allegations of false advertising, further investigation causes Taco Bell to close its doors for good.
OBAMA ROBS BANKS
HANDENBURG, Austria – President Obama has been robbing Austrian banks to fuel the US economy.
CHINA STATE DINNER WITH THE OBAMAS
WASHINGTON – Chinese President Hu Jintao will be getting the royal treatment at a White House State Dinner.
PRINCE WILLIAM TO MARRY, MOVE TO THE U.S.
LONDON – Prince William is engaged to his girlfriend, Kate Middleton. They plan to marry next summer and move to the United States.