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chimpanzee

STOCK-PICKING CHIMP IS BACK!

October 26, 2019October 15, 2019 by James Vancey

“To Err is Simian”  Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp Alas, Uncle Lancelot saw it coming: the stock-picking chimp violated his cardinal rule – “don’t fall in love with a stock” in … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Opinion Tags chimpanzee, stock market, stock picker

HUMAN BRAINS SHRINKING AT ALARMING RATE

July 27, 2011 by Frank Lake

Scientists were startled to discover that human brains, for some unknown reason, are shrinking!

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags brains, chimpanzee, intelligence, IQ

CHIMPANZEES – THE NEW TECH SUPPORT

January 31, 2011 by Pierce Blodyn

BEIJING, China – Chimpanzees are now being used for outsourced technical support.

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags apple, beijing, bubbles, bubbles the chimp, chimpanzee, china, Ipad, missouri, nevada, people for the ethical treatment of animals, peta, springfield, united states, US, USA, Windows

BLIND MOTHER GIVEN NEWBORN CHIMP

March 6, 2009 by Maleeka Spriggs

baby_chimp

NIGERIA – Blind mom Heather Hilton was leaving the hospital with her newborn son when hooligans kidnapped the boy, and sent her home with a baby chimpanzee!

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags chimp, chimpanzee, nigeria

ED ANGER SAYS: ENOUGH CARTOON MONKEY BUSINESS!

February 20, 2009 by Ed Anger

I’m madder than a chimp without his Xanax about that monkey cartoon!

Categories Ed Anger Tags chimp, chimp attack, chimp killed, chimp shot, chimpanzee, chimpanzee attack, crapistan, Ed Anger, edanger, new york post, stamford chimp, travis chimpanzee, travis the chimp

CHIMP ATTACK FAMILY SEEKS COUNSEL

February 17, 2009 by Dallas Commagreens

phdapechimp

STAMFORD, CT – Travis the chimp was shot dead after brutally attacking a human, and now his family is seeking comfort and advice from the world’s only PhD Ape.

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Categories Mutants, TopStory Tags ape, chimp attack, chimp killed, chimp shot, chimpanzee, chimpanzee attack, connecticut, monkey, phd ape, stamford, stamford chimp, travis chimpanzee, travis the chimp

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