McCain Will Sell Hawaii to Raise Cash

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In one of the most shocking moves of his candidacy run, John McCain has proposed selling Hawaii to Japan to help repair the economy, a leading Washington insider has informed Weekly World News.

“Basically, Senator McCain sees this as a quick and easy way to generate a huge bundle of cash,” stated the source, an upper-echelon State Department official with close ties to McCain’s inner circle.
“As everyone knows, the U.S. economy is hurting real bad. McCain figures that by selling Hawaii, he’ll be able to pay off a sizeable portion of the recent bailout of AIG while also generating funding for continuing military operations in Iraq, and quite possibly, a full-scale invasion of Iran.”
Initially, McCain considered putting up Massachusetts for sale, along with several other “blue” states. But after Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin pointed out such an action might trigger a massive popular revolt on the U.S. mainland, he decided to hang a “For Sale” sign on remote, isolated Hawaii.
“It’s so far away, that it doesn’t even seem like part of America anyway,” the Senator is alleged to have said at a campaign strategy meeting.
The campaign’s spokesman has been sure to point out that this has nothing to do with Hawaii being Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama’s home state. “It never occurred to Senator McCain, and frankly, we find it offensive that that is even being suggested.”
It is widely believed that Japan would outbid any other countries, including Canada, China and Australia, for ownership of the “Aloha state.”
According to a telephone poll of Hawaiian residents conducted last week, 98 percent described themselves as “extremely pissed” after being told about the Senator’s alleged plan.
“He’s so lolo!*” fumed Roy Kaena, a Honolulu native. When asked if he would be voting for McCain, he proclaimed “Not! I nevah.**”
*= “He’s an idiot”
**= ““Of course not! That is inconceivable.”

12 thoughts on “McCain Will Sell Hawaii to Raise Cash”

  1. This note is for those of you who have seen insanity happen in congress and the world, I am but one who has put it on the line for this ungrateful nation, to think one inch would be conceded is tantamount to declaring a revolution, guaranteed.
    Many like McCain are veterans, McCain himself would lay down his life instantly to prevent it, he is one of the few who has earned the right to joke like this, yes earned the right, those who make a issue of it, question their right to stand up to such a person as McCain. Heck , the man deserves the Congressional medal of honor for his actions, if he is insane, ok, we just get him some better advisor's ok.

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  2. Apparently, Weekly World News has joined the massive, national cover-up that is attempting to pull the wool over the worn-out eyes of America's great citizens and patriots. Why don't you tell the WHOLE story?
    It is the alien federation, specifically the Annunaki, who wants Hawaii all to itself. After all, Hawaii is where Barack Obama was dropped onto Pearl Harbor by the extraterrestrials back in 1961, on the 20th anniversary of their 1941 attack that was cruelly pinned on the Japanese people. Yes, it was alien forces that roped America into WWII. Ask John McCain.
    Why all the rumors regarding Obama's Hawaii birth certificate being quickly slapped together? Now America will finally know the truth. Barack Obama is an alien hybrid who feeds on sugar cane and pineapples. The alien federation must secure Hawaii against a growing population of U.S. mainland sugar addicts and pineapple upside-down cake junkies. This is a crucial security issue.
    I am disappointed in your censored reporting. America deserves the whole truth. Thank heavens for Don Ho and Hawaii Five-0. Otherwise, we all might forever be without the truth that the Weekly World News is trying so hard to hide from our great nation.
    Have you no shame?

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  3. You do know, there are folks who will believe this insanity joke hahahahhha
    Especially the beyond the edge of sane Democrats, which is composed of 60% of registered , and 25 % of the Elder types who vote Democrat because their great Grandfathers did. That is a lot of Democrats.
    I was a registered Democrat, and realized it was because of the Grate Grandfather emotional bond, now i am in dependant (Always voted Independent in any case, meaning I voted for the most likely not to kill us all in some way) oh well, i can't afford to travel to Hawaii, he might pull it off, due to this factor, most Americans believe they cannot interact at all with life in Hawaii. That is the majority factor, heck he might just pull it off hahahahhaahh

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  4. erm to kyle: may i point out that mcain was not a good soldier at all! he crashed 5 plains man!!! he was even discribed in his file as ''the worst ever'' seriously get your info right before claiming he should earn a medal he should pay to the army becuase he made 5 plains crash! and honestly do you realy think killing ppl should be awarded? yes if it is for a good cause but i still do not think you should get a medal for it…

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    • smartx—learn to spell. PLAINS are pieces of land. Planes are what you fly. And do you really think he is the only enlisted man to crash a plane? I myself don't care too much for Mccain, but come on. Learn how to spell and who are you to define " a good soldier" ?

  5. My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I might as well check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking into your web page for a second time.

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  6. On a side note we may be positioning for this to occur. I believe Honolulu is in all the top city listings recently for this or that. Ready for a trade or sale? Even better….when we do sell it make the treasuary a penny auctioneer style for the day. So we can get another 3 Trillion just from bids……makes you think?!

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