PARIS – The Dead Sea Scrolls predicted that a Great Flood, like the one that destroyed Noah’s world, will sweep the Earth in 2009, drowning at least 2 billion people.
Year: 2009
ANN COULTER 1, NBC 0
I’m madder than a bulimic with a broken finger over this whole Ann Coulter business.
BURRIS AND OBATMA CRY TOGETHER
WASHINGTON, DC – After both parties were denied their rightful entry, Obatma and Roland Burris bonded over their rejection.
TOP 5 ALIEN PAINTINGS
Mygar, the most respected art critic this side of the Milky Way, presents the top 5 paintings of our galaxy.
PORN BAILOUT SOLUTION
WASHINGTON, DC – In one stunning move, Congress solved two crises plaguing America – a need for additional federal employees and a sinking pornography industry.
DEATH RAY AT CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
LAS VEGAS, NV – The Death Ray app has made its premiere at the popular Consumer Electronics Show amidst drama and fear.
BOYCOTT COMMIE-SOTA
I’m madder than Jesse Ventura with a busted microphone about that idiot Al Franken. It’s bad enough America picked a commie President with a crazy name, but now Minnesota went and made some potty mouth “comedian” a senator.
COULTER OVERLOADS TODAY SHOW
NEW YORK, NY – NBC’s Today Show regretted re-booking right wing pundit, Ann Coulter, after the controversial writer went into overload on live television.
APPLE FOUNDER TO LOSE ADAM’S APPLE
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – It was revealed this week that cancer survivor and Apple CEO Steve Jobs was undergoing hormone therapy to counteract his notable weight loss.