WASHINGTON – On the first night of the White House Dance Series, the White House introduced its own dance troupe, Hip-Potus.
Frank Lake
STUDY: FAT MEN BETTER IN BED
TURKEY – In a new study of sexual behavior, scientists have concluded definitively that fat men are better in bed.
LABOR DAY RENAMED SEX DAY.
WASHINGTON – Due to the poor economy, Congress voted today to rename Labor Day. This year it will be called “Sex Day.”
FEDS DEPORT SHERIFF JOE
MARICOPA COUNTY – The Department of Justice had Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio arrested and deported yesterday.
PLASTIC BAGS ATTACK!
SANTA MONICA – Angered by California lawmakers who attempted to ban them, millions of plastic bags attacked California this morning.
NASA DESTROYS PLYMOUTH ROCK
PLYMOUTH, MA – Confused NASA scientists obliterated Plymouth Rock with a laser-guide missile.
CALIFORNIA TO TAX TATTOOS
SACRAMENTO – A desperate California legislature passed a bill to tax every tattoo on every California resident.