TURKEY – In a new study of sexual behavior, scientists have concluded definitively that fat men are better in bed.
In an extensive scientific study done at Erciyes University in Kayseri, Turkey, it was determined that fat men last longer in bed, while lean gym jocks are prone to premature ejaculation and impotence.
According to the study, men with excess body fat develop more female sex hormones that influence their sexual performance. Men with high fat levels were found to have higher levels of the female sex hormone oestradiol, which disrupts the chemical balance in their body, making them last longer during sex.
One four hundred pound man, Savio Bari lasted six hours before climaxing. His wife, Mariska Bari, reportedly enjoyed the sex, but she later died from complications of a crushed ribcage.
The survey’s results found fat men could last an average of 7.3 minutes during love-making, while their skinnier counterparts only lasted 1.3 minutes. Male politicians only lasted 0.9 minutes.
Researchers spent a year recording the body mass index (BMI) of more than 500 patients referred for specialist treatment. They compared these results with 500 other male patients who lasted longer during sex.
Results concluded that the men needing treatment for premature ejaculation had lower BMI scores, meaning they were fitter. “We found that premature ejaculators were leaner,” the report stated. “Men who go to the gym a lot look good, but they are terrible in bed.”
Women in Chicago and Los Angeles confirmed the results of the study. In anecdotal reports, women who dated men that frequented Muscle Beach in Venice, California were unsatisfied with their sexual partner. “Todd has great abs and pecs, but he’s done before I get my skirt off,” said Cindy Barker of Santa Monica. Women who hung out with men that frequented Dunkin’ Donuts were much more satisfied. “Joshua had five double-chocolate donuts and he was going for five hours!,” said Maura Macon of Evanston, Illinois.
The scientists in Turkey were not surprised. “If men would just stop going to the gym and eat more junk food, they would have happier and healthier sex lives.”
The problem is that women are not typically attracted to obese men. But scientists in Turkey have come up with a solution: “We recommend that women have sex with the lights off and fantasize about fitter men. We also recommend that they get steel reinforced beds.”
It’s not clear yet if obese women are better in bed than fitter women. Scientists are still looking for male volunteers to have sex with morbidly obese women. If interested, contact WWN and we will put you in touch with the Turkish scientists…. It’s not over until the fat lady screams.
STUDY: FAT MEN BETTER IN BED
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Why dont you tell those Amatures to put some nump-making chemicals on their tools, like Dentists do to your gums before any injection.And its not doping !!
Hilarious article, you are a great writer.
This is great news for Fatfoot.
what are you eating fat ass
weird!?!
I'm interest in a new way forward. If we're to find that new way. One I'm not sure is even thought of yet. I think the whole structure will collapse under it's own weight and there will be a time of rethinking on the question of how we treat and interact with each other. My question is where do you look to find the plan to survive this time? What will be needed on the community levels. I'm just reasonably sure this system is doomed. Just a quick look at the natural world and how it sustains itself, and then compare it to how our economic system is set up, really tells the story. The natural world takes just what it needs, and gives something back the it's host. Our system just takes and takes……
This study is so false… my god… My experience with both sizes.. muscular men> fat men
That is going to change a lot of things if it were ever true. For one, you'd probably need reinforced and extra upholstered bedheads and cushions to be able to get anything going.
Partially true. While fat men have more gusto due to sex deprivation, they are not attractive to a lot of women. So liposuction new york can make them better in appearance and in the bedroom.