WASHINGTON, DC – With February off to a rocky start, President Obama called an old friend for some much needed support – PhD Ape!
Politics
KOSOVO NOW OLD ENOUGH TO DATE
GENEVA – A consensus vote at the United Nations today recognized Kosovo’s right to after-hours, unsupervised socialization rights with consenting nations.
REPUBLICAN STIMULUS PLAN TANTRUM
WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package. At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.
IRAN RESPONDS TO DIRECT DIPLOMACY
WASHINGTON, DC – The US has proposed engaging in direct diplomacy with Iran, and President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad appears happy to participate.
GOP LEADERS PROTEST STIMULUS PACKAGE
WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capitol Building to block its passing.
BUSH’S NOTE TO OBAMA
WASHINGTON, DC – Continuing the tradition, outgoing President Bush left a personal note to the new President Obama in the Oval Office.
LINCOLN SPOTTED AT OBAMA’S INAUGURATION
WASHINGTON, DC – Abraham Lincoln’s ghost has been spotted among strange occurrences at the Obama inauguration.
SECRETS OF CHENEY’S SAFE REVEALED
WASHINGTON, DC – Handymen accidentally cracked open the man-sized safe of exiting Vice President Dick Cheney while transferring his effects.
JUDGE ORDERS BUSH SURRENDER E-MAILS
WASHINGTON, DC – A federal judge has ordered the emails of the Bush administration be surrendered to the courts, and Weekly World News has some!
FANTASY INAUGURATION
WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning response to the passing of Ricardo Montalban, Barack Obama has announced last-minute changes to his upcoming inauguration.