WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package.  At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.

Republicans in the House and Senate remain uniformly opposed to the bailout, and they are making their disappointment heard.

Immediately after the votes were tallied, several congressmen locked themselves in legal chambers and refused to come out.  Promises of additional tax cuts or wine-spritzers could not move the determined statesmen, and a janitor had to be called to unlock the door.

John Boehner took the floor in retaliation to the measure; first threatening to filibuster, then vowing to hold his breath until the house changed their minds.  Emergency medical teams were called when he passed out and hit his head on the podium.

Despite the urgent need for any federal action on the economy, Republican officials remain determined to stop the stimulus bill before it reaches the Senate.

Rush Limbaugh has threatened to secede from the Union, turning his West Palm Beach home into its own autonomous state.  Republican Governor of Florida Charlie Crist has offered to turn a blind eye to such an action, but an eventual showdown with federal forces is expected.

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  1. Hey, if they're against this plundering stupidity, good. This is a disaster and everyone knows it while no one is saying it. Wake up, doofs! Obama is swiping your retirement to give to crackwhores, illegal immigrants, Wall Street CEOs, unions and other bad actors. Don't believe it? Fine. Wait, if you like.

  2. Thank God that there was not one Republican vote for the stimulus. Who will the Democrats blame when this back fires? It will be an ugly mess and we Republicans will have nothing to do with it. Will they blame Bush? I bet they will.

  3. unbelievable… It seems like we will become a socialist country. Just what the Democrats want. I do not understand why they favor the nonworking class and the hell with those of us who work. It makes me sick that we are the discriminated class in this country. What would happen if we all moved out? Have a great night!

  4. What does it say about S Espinosa and Megapotamus that they are posting serious comments about the economy on this site. Do they also believe the UFO stuff?

    • UFO stuff? Hey, who knows and more importantly, who cares? As long as it does not affect my hard earned money, let there be aliens running around the whole planet! Maybe aliens are hard working beings and not free loaders, who I am against. Does it bother you that we are posting serious comments? Who cares!

  5. yeah cause the reason we are in this mess is those damn democrats. It is not a good plan I will give you that, but the reason we are in this is bush.


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