WASHINGTON, DC – Bernanke finally admits how he predicted the end of the recession: Astrology!
Politics
NEW AGE DEAL PUTS PSYCHICS TO WORK
WASHINGTON, DC – The economic recovery plan put forward by the Obama administration includes an initiative to employ as many as five hundred psychics.
NEW AMERICAN TEA PARTY
BOSTON, MA – Rick Santelli plans to throw the world’s most expensive Tea Party to protest of the Stimulus Plan, serving hundred dollar bills steeped in hot water!
UPDATE: BOBBY JINDAL SPEECH FAILS
UPDATE: Senator Bobby Jindal’s talks with Satan appear to be working, as he was picked to deliver the official GOP response to President Obama’s State of the Union.
BUNNING IS NOSTRADAMUS REBORN
LOUISVILLE, KY – Appearing for the first time in hundreds of years, Nostradamus has taken a human form to predict the death of a Supreme Court Justice!
POPE EXORCISES PELOSI
VATICAN CITY – What was to be a diplomatic mission became a controversial event when Pope Benedict XVI performed an impromptu exorcism on Nancy Pelosi!
WHERE’S OSAMA BIN LADEN?
NEW YORK, NY – Researchers have been using satellite-aided georgaphical analysis to pinpoint Osama bin Laden’s location, but he may be closer than they think.
OBAMA AND GREGG BREAK UP
WASHINGTON, DC – Following a whirlwind romance, President Obama and New Hampshire Senator Judd Gregg have broken off their relationship.
NO STIMULUS PETITION
WASHINGTON, DC – A “No Stimulus Bill” petition being circulated by the Americans For Prosperity is gaining strong momentum.
ANN COULTER IN VOTER FRAUD SCANDAL
HARTFORD, CT – Weekly World News investigators have discovered that Ann Coulter may actually be a man.