WASHINGTON, DC – The growing threat of global pandemic resulting from Swine Flu has health organizations worldwide searching for an origin.
Politics
ARLEN SPECTER SWITCHES PARTIES
WASHINGTON, DC – The Hill was shocked as Pennsylvania’s senior Senator, Republican Arlen Specter, announced he was switching parties – because of the babes!
IMF PREDICTS SEVERE RECESSION
WASHINGTON, DC – The IMF predicts a shrinking world economy over the next few years. This troubling news sent lard and cornmeal futures skyrocketing.
OBAMA AND CHAVEZ NOT BFFs
CARACAS – President Obama and Hugo Chavez met for the first time earlier this week. Yesterday, video surfaced of Obama telling Chavez to stop calling him.
TEXAS SECESSION
AUSTIN, TX – Texas has seceded from the union. Led by Governor Rick Perry, Texans and frustrated Conservatives are clamoring to Texas to start a new country.
GEORGETOWN HIDES JESUS?
WASHINGTON, DC – Georgetown University has admitted to covering up symbols of Jesus Christ when President Barack Obama spoke there on Tuesday. Is that okay?
GOVERNOR PATERSON FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
ALBANY, NY – New York Governor David Paterson is introducing legislation today which would promote same-sex marriages in the state.
GINGRICH 2012
ATHENS, GA – The rumor mill has already begun: former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is preparing to run for President in 2012. Will the Alien endorse him once more?
OBAMA OPENS DOORS TO CUBA
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama is opening the door to Cuba. The two countries will settle their differences once and for all in a Prime Time Tango dance-off.