CHELSEA CLINTON WEDDING GUEST LIST

WWN EXCLUSIVE –  Bat Boy, Bigfoot, and Bush are all on the guest list for Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in Rhinebeck, New York on July 31.

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JESSE JAMES TO STAR IN BLIND SIDE SEQUEL

LOS ANGELES – Producers of the hit Sandra Bullock drama, The Blind Side, announced today that Jesse James has agreed to co-star in the sequel.

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STEINBRENNER DIES, COSTANZA ARRESTED

George Steinbrenner, a towering figure in the sports world, died Tuesday morning in Tampa.  George Costanza was arrested soon after in a nearby coffee shop.

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RUSSIA SWAPS PUTIN FOR PALIN

AUSTRIA –  In a secret swap on the tarmac of the Vienna airport, Russia and the United States returned their respective spies: Vladmir Putin and Sarah Palin.

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HAPPY TRAILS! TRIGGER FOR SALE!

New York, NY – Christie’s is auctioning off the belongings of movie cowboy Roy Rogers – including the preserved remains of his famous horse, Trigger.

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MEL CALLED BACK TO ALIEN MOTHERSHIP

LOS ANGELES – The Alien Mothership hovering above Los Angeles finally had enough of Mel Gibson’s racist tirades and has called him back home.

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BAT BOY PUT IN CHARGE OF U.S. CYBER COMMAND

BREAKING –  Washington, D.C. The White House announced this morning that they will be putting Bat Boy in charge of the newly created “Perfect Citizen” cyber program.

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