MIAMI – Sexy Russian spies boldly paraded through Miami in their red bikinis. The FBI is hot on their tail.
Frank Lake
OBAMAS GO TO BURNING MAN
BLACK ROCK CITY – The Obamas flew away from Martha’s Vineyard today to attend Burning Man.
NEW NBC SITCOM: DR. LAURA'S FRIENDS
HOLLYWOOD – Dr. Laura has inked a deal for a new NBC sitcom. She’s starring with her black friend and her gay friend.
OBAMA IS XENU
WASHINGTON – The White House drops a bombshell. President Obama is Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy.
A LOVE HATE BIRTHDAY
SEATTLE – Courtney Love attacks daughter on her 18th birthday via Twitter. There’s nothing like a Love mother.
THE UNEMPLOYED FORM A UNION
DETROIT – Out-of-work Americans are signing up in record numbers for a union, the Union of Unemployed Americans.
BIGFOOT HUNTS TED NUGENT
MARYSVILLE, CA – Ted Nugent pleaded guilty to killing a defenseless deer. Bigfoot didn’t like that and is coming for Ted!
NATIONAL RECALL DAY!
WASHINGTON – President Obama declared today, August 18th, “National Recall Day.” So… send it back!
BLAGO JURORS WIN POWERBALL LOTTERY
CHICAGO – On the same night jurors acquitted former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich of all but one charge, they won the $64 million Powerball lottery.