KANSAS CITY, MO – At a Kansas City rally, Michelle Obama brought Obatma on stage and proudly accepted him into the Obama family. During a Vote for Change rally, Michelle … READ MORE
BOSTON, MA – After striking out at the plate in Game 7 of the ALCS, slumping slugger David Ortiz finally scored off-the-field with Cynthia, the estranged wife of Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez.
Exclusive information reveals that Alex Rodriguez, Yankees player and rumored lover of Madonna, is actually Madonna’s son!
UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.
Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.
Since David Beckham’s move to America a few years ago, his behavior has dramatically changed. Beckham shaved his head, mostly coming out at night, and rumor has it, using mosquitoes as a protein supplement!
Bat Boy has no shame in having his influence known! What does he want from all of these celebrities?
It looks like Bat Boy has moved on from James Blake to another famous tennis player: Andre Agassi.
Although Agassi retired in 2006, he continues to play charity tournaments. It has been long whispered that Agassi is often found immediately after the game, catching mosquitoes in the parking lot with a dark, pointy-eared figure.
What could Bat Boy possibly have to gain from a retired athlete? The plot thickens…
Bat Boy has now struck at one of Hollywood’s most recognizable leading ladies, Sharon Stone!
In 2005, Stone helped raise funds for mosquito nets in Tanzania. Was Bat Boy offended? His love of mosquitoes is well known.
Word has gotten around that Stone is distancing herself from the net incident and refusing to participate in any future pledge drives.
A photographer has boasted he has a shot of Stone in a nightgown and no shoes feasting on mosquitoes in a field, but he has yet to sell it.
Weekly World News investigative reporters have discovered that the U.S. government has issued Bat Boy a passport for international travel!
NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy visited David Blaine during his “Upside Down Man” stunt, where Blaine is hanging by his feet for 60 hours in Central Park.
Bat Boy didn’t seem to understand what all the hooplah was about, as he sleeps every day by hanging from the top of his cave in West Virginia.
To show his support, he brought a swarm of mosquitoes for Blaine to feast on for sustenance. Blaine thanked him but politely declined.
