NEW YORK — After Derek Jeter reached the 3,000 hit mark, he was traded to the New York Mets.
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JETER CHANGES MIND, JOINS RED SOX
NEW YORK – An anonymous donor offered Derek Jeter $100 million to ditch his new Yankee deal and join the Red Sox. Jeter agreed.
JOSH HAMILTON TO ENTER PRIESTHOOD
ARLINGTON, TX – Texas Ranger slugger Josh Hamilton announced he will join the priesthood after the World Series.
PADRES SELL SOULS FOR PLAYOFF SPOT
SAN DIEGO – The Padres, two games out for the wild card, decided to sell their souls to the devil.
STEINBRENNER DIES, COSTANZA ARRESTED
George Steinbrenner, a towering figure in the sports world, died Tuesday morning in Tampa. George Costanza was arrested soon after in a nearby coffee shop.
WORLD SERIES GAME 3
PHILADELPHIA, PA – The New York Yankees have attributed their Halloween win to Bat Boy.
MICHAEL JACKSON WAS TO BUY YANKEES?
BRONX, NY – It was reported that Michael Jackson was to trade in his famed sequined glove for a baseball mitt. The late eccentric millionaire was to buy the Yankee franchise — so he could play center field.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS STEROID USE
NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.
MADONNA DIVORCE SHOCKER!
Exclusive information reveals that Alex Rodriguez, Yankees player and rumored lover of Madonna, is actually Madonna’s son!