UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.
Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.
Bat Boy was spotted last night in Louisville, Kentucky, taking in a Vampire Weekend performance!
Concertgoers are reporting that he slipped past security using a disguise, consisting of skinny jeans and an “Ithaca is Gorges” t-shirt.
Bat Boy squeaked and squealed along to Vampire Weekend’s Upper West Side Soweto beats. After the show, he snuck backstage and showed his appreciation to the band by bringing them mosquitoes to devour.