Lehman CEO Admits That He Forgot How To Count!
“Frankly, Bagel Fridays made it very difficult to concentrate on work.”
Allie Pruitt
Bat Boy's Vampire Weekend
Bat Boy was spotted last night in Louisville, Kentucky, taking in a Vampire Weekend performance!
Concertgoers are reporting that he slipped past security using a disguise, consisting of skinny jeans and an “Ithaca is Gorges” t-shirt.
Bat Boy squeaked and squealed along to Vampire Weekend’s Upper West Side Soweto beats. After the show, he snuck backstage and showed his appreciation to the band by bringing them mosquitoes to devour.
FALL OUT BAT BOY
Bat Boy made a rare public appearance when Fall Out Boy invited him on stage. Through high-pitched squeaks and squeals, Bat Boy then convinced the band to run off with him into the night and devour mosquitoes.
Ashlee Simpson did not attend.
BLAKE ANGUISH AT OPEN
James Blake and US hopes have crashed at the US Open.
Blake lost a close match despite being powered by a strong serve, superior forehand and the protein nourishment that his nightly diet of thousands of mosquitoes provides.
AMERICAN BAT BOY
The Weekly World News continues its crusade of exposing Bat Boy’s true nature by presenting this new discovery. It appears that he may have developed the very frightening power of mind control.
BAT BOY BRO-IN-LAW
Shortly after introducing his sister, Michelle Obama, CRAIG ROBINSON flew off into the Denver night to devour mosquitoes.
Batney Spears
The Weekly World News has unearthed archival proof of Bat Boy’s infiltration of celebrity culture. Will his reign of terror never cease?!
Charlie of "Charlie Bit My Finger Again" Is Now Fingered as British Bat Boy
Shocking development coming from the UK. Charlie of “Charlie Bit My Finger Again” is reported to have vestigial wings that were removed at birth. Insiders are speculating that he could be the British Bat Boy.