I’m madder than Al Sharpton with a busted bullhorn! I’ve heard about that affirmative action stuff but this is crazy!

Everybody knows Hillary Clinton wears the pants in that crazy family, but now she could go to jail for it!

I’m madder than a geisha in a tanning bed!

Your Weekly Star Guide by Madame Malisa, Renowned Medium and Psychic!

I’m pig-biting mad! All my favorite right wing sweeties are getting picked on!

Today is Veteran’s Day, when we take a minute between 50% off mattress sales and Hitler Channel marathons to remember all the brave men who fought for America!

So we’re getting closer all the time to getting that DMV health care! The first bunch of jackasses voted for it, and now its up to the other gang of crooks to decide.

During that Watergate thing, they used to say “follow the money.” Now it’s more like “follow the ambulance!”

So the Commies lost two out of three big votes last night!

I feel as crazy as a bedbug in a cat house!