Let’s find out who’s the victim and who’s the problem. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynews.com, and I’ll straighten you out. Mabyel-By-Mailboy Dear Dotti, Because our addresses are nearly identical, I get the town spinster’s mail: coffin brochures, catalogs for compression socks, and nice cards from her nephews. Those go right in the trash. Last week, an … READ MORE
Let’s find out who needs a prayer and who needs a clue. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynew.com and I’ll straighten you right out. Big Dumb Eyes on the Sun Dear Dotti, My dorm roommate is doing a stare-at-the-sun social media challenge and now he’s bumping into walls and keeps asking if I got my … READ MORE
Hello Americans, Let’s see who needs a pat on the back and who needs a slap in the face. Keep the letters coming to editor@worldweeklynews.com. CRYBABIES! Dear Dotti, I’m a great stay-at-home Dad, but moms shun me at the park ‘cause my kids swear and throw toys! How do I get a playdate in this town … READ MORE
(Still alive, still drunk on truth serum and White Claw, broadcasting from a derelict Cracker Barrel off I-95. The Epstein list dropped more names than a drunk karaoke night, feral hogs are unionizing, and McDonald’s ice-cream machines are officially classified as a hate crime. Let’s get hysterical! HOG QUEEN DEAR DOTTI,I’m a suburban mom in … READ MORE
Folks, it’s your ol’ pal Dotti here, hunkered down in my Florida bunker with a bottle of champagne spiked with Bigfoot tears and a crystal ball that’s fogged up worse than Times Square after the ball drops. The world’s spinnin’ into 2026 faster than a chupacabra on a Red Bull bender—aliens crashin’ parties, Bat Boy … READ MORE
BURNING BENJAMINS DEAR DOTTI,My husband just announced he’s quitting his job to become a “full-time Trump shaman.” He’s wearing a red tie as a headband, burning $100 bills “to cleanse the aura of fiat currency,” and keeps screaming “THE STORM IS COMING” at the Roomba. We have three kids, a mortgage, and a golden retriever … READ MORE
That’s me, darlings! Still kickin’ from my underground bunker in Florida, sippin’ on moonshine spiked with AI regret. Weekly World News ain’t dead – it’s just hidin’ from the fact-checkers! Send your screams to editor@weeklyworldnews.com, or I’ll assume you’re a lizard person and eat your mail. Folks, 2025’s got us by the short hairs! Unemployment’s … READ MORE
(That’s right, it’s me, your favorite red-faced ranter from the holler, spittin’ mad as a wet hen in a hailstorm. Weekly World News don’t pay me enough to put up with this hogwash, but somebody’s gotta say it!) Listen up, you pencil-necked, latte-sippin bureaucrats and their soy-boy sidekicks in Congress! Another government shutdown? AGAIN? What … READ MORE
Folks, I’m so steamed I could boil a bald eagle’s bathwater! This week, some fancy-pants chess whiz named Magnus Carlsen—who sounds like he oughta be selling Swedish meatballs—beat another brainiac, Hikaru Nakamura, in some hoity-toity “Esports World Cup” chess match. And get this: they didn’t even touch a real chessboard! Nope, these eggheads were clicking … READ MORE
Folks, it’s your ol’ pal Dotti here, sippin’ swamp water from a Bigfoot boot and channelin’ wisdom straight from the ghost of Elvis’s gold-plated UFO. The world’s gone madder than a three-eyed cat in a laser pointer factory this October—Trump’s tweetin’ from the moon, climate change turned Florida into a giant kiddie pool, and AI’s … READ MORE