god

GOD THROWING ASTEROIDS AT EARTH

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NASA has just detected a swarm of 16 asteroids hurtling towards Earth this week. After investigating the swarm, NASA has announced that God was throwing asteroids at Earth. They did not know what the reason was for God’s actions, but they are confident it was him (or her). These asteroids will start slamming into Earth … READ MORE

GOD RECALLS MORE THAN FIVE MILLION HUMANS

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CITES “MANUFACTURING DEFECTS” God is adding 5.2 million humans worldwide to a major recall to fix manufacturing defects that lead to emotional and spiritual malfunction and the failure of empathy. A spokesangel for the Almighty, Jehudiel, said this week that the additional beings bring the total number of humans recalled in history to more than 22 million. … READ MORE

MAN-BUTT DIALS GOD!

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“I thought it was gas,” recalls JoJo “Tiny” Metcalf. Mr. Metcalf, one of the most in-demand bouncers on the NYC club scene, adds “but once I heard the intonations, I knew it was God.” Metcalf apologizes for his apartment being in a state of disarray, “between the paramedics and the phone company, things got a … READ MORE

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