SINAI PENINSULA – Sometime around the year 1340 B.C., this little patch of sun-baked land was the setting for one of the most heroic escapes in the annals of mankind: the Exodus of the Hebrew people from Egypt.
“After Moses led the people of Israel from Egypt, they wandered in the Sinai desert for forty years,” said Rabbi Zalman Schmotkin of the Moses Studies Institute. “It’s long been a mystery exactly how the Hebrews could have remained lost for so many years in an area approximately the size of Arizona. Why hadn’t the Lord shown them the way?”
Now, an archaeological dig on the shores of the Red Sea proves that God did give Moses some help in finding the way.
“An old GPS was found in a sealed urn not far from the remains of an Egyptian chariot,” said Rabbi Schmotkin. “We surmise that Moses dropped it in the rush to get across the Red Sea before the parted waters came back together.”
“The GPS had fingerprints on it and with today’s advanced DNA technology, it was easy to determine that they belonged to Moses.” Scientists believe that the GPS was helpful for part of the journey to The Promised Land, but for some reason, it must have stopped working.
A HOLY MALFUNCTION?
Some suggest that the cause was bad reception, others believe Moses put the wrong address into the GPS, but Biblical scholars are convinced it was due to the Lord himself.
“The journey should have taken a month tops,” said Rabbi Schmotkin, “IF the GPS was functioning properly. But the Lord does work in mysterious ways.”
“This explains so much,” the Rabbi said, “especially why God didn’t allow Moses to enter the Promised Land.
“You know how angry you get when people arrive late for an event because their GPS wasn’t working? Well, God was expecting Moses much sooner, and when he didn’t show – there were consequences.”
The “Moses GPS” is now with the CIA for further evaluation.
