ANTARCTICA Researchers from the U.N. have discovered an alien outpost
Month: August 2011
RUNAWAY ANTIMATTER HEADING FOR EARTH!
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Physicists discovered a massive “ball” of antimatter heading for earth. It could destroy our planet.
ARNOLD: I SURVIVED MILDRED
LOS ANGELES – Arnold is wearing a T-Shirt with ‘I Survived Maria” on the front and “I Survived Mildred” on the back!
DID GEORGE SOROS CAUSE MARKET CRASH?
NEW YORK – There’s speculation that George Soros placed heavy bets against the U.S. causing the market crash.
SUPER CONGRESS TO MAKE STOCK MARKET SOAR!
WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!
JACKIE KENNEDY: LYNDON JOHNSON GOT BOBBY, TOO!
NEW YORK – Sources say tapes released reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon Johnson was also the mastermind behind RFK’s assassination.
JOE PATERNO – BIONIC COACH
STATE COLLEGE, PA – Joe Paterno suffered injuries to his right shoulder and hip when running a crossing route with the Penn State Nittany Lions.
MYSTERY ROADKILL
ALEXANDRIA, MN – A mystery carcass was found in Douglas County. Nobody knows what it is or how it got there.