NEW ORLEANS, LA – After an altercation with police Monday night, the half-man half-alligator mutant Manigator has been banned from Tuesday’s Mardi Gras celebrations.
Mutants
DEMON ICE CREAM FOUND!
MILAN, MI – A Weekly World News reader sent in this chilling discovery: possessed ice cream!
STANFORD FOUND BY BAT BOY
ARLINGTON, VA – Billionaire-on-the-run Allen Stanford has been located and taken into custody, all thanks to Bat Boy.
NADYA SULEMAN’S DOCTOR REVEALED
LOS ANGELES, CA – As details about the Suleman octuplets emerge, questions are being asked about Suleman’s fertility doctor.
SASQUATCH MUSIC FESTIVAL ANNOUNCED
SEATTLE, WA – After this week’s announcement of the 2009 Sasquatch Music Festival, cyber cafes across the country are reporting mysterious nighttime break-ins.
CHIMP ATTACK FAMILY SEEKS COUNSEL
STAMFORD, CT – Travis the chimp was shot dead after brutally attacking a human, and now his family is seeking comfort and advice from the world’s only PhD Ape.
PRESIDENTS DAY SALE SURPRISE
CHICAGO, IL – Sears has worked hard to secure great Presidents Day sales by conjuring up the ghost of George Washington at its flagship store.
CHRIS JERICHO FIGHT WITH MUTANT
VICTORIA, BC – Pro wrestler Chris Jericho was assaulted after a match this weekend. It now seems Manigator, the half-man half-alligator mutant, started the fight.
MY BOYFRIEND IS A ZOMBIE
AMSTERDAM – Accident victim Godfried Lansing was declared dead and lay in a morgue for 48 spine-chilling hours before suddenly bouncing back to life.
BIGGEST SNAKE DISCOVERED IN COLOMBIA
BOGOTA – Photographs have surfaced proving the existence of a giant snake in the jungles of Colombia.