BOSTON, MA – Customs officials have seized 14 kilos of shamrock seeds at Dulles Airport. The seeds would have grown 38 kilos of “Lucky Green” with a street value of $150,000.
Mutants
SPIDER BITE MIRACLE
MANTECA, CA – A man who spent the last 20 years as a paraplegic is now able to walk, thanks to the “blessing” of a spider bite!
GRASS MUD HORSE: WHAT IS IT?!
CHENGDU – Word has spread of the mythical creature, the “grass mud horse”, which is rumored to live in the Chinese desert. But what is it truly?
BRISTOL PALIN, LEVI JOHNSTON SPLIT
FORT MYERS, FL – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, daughter of Governor Sarah Palin, have broken up. Now Bristol has been spotted with notorious ex-con Manigator.
VAMPIRE SKULL FOUND
VENICE – An archaeologist excavating mass graves of plague victims in Venice has discovered the skull of an alleged vampire!
LIL’ KIM’S DANCING WITH THE STARS SECRET
LOS ANGELES, CA – Lil’ Kim may be performing on “Dancing with the Stars” with a human, but insiders revealed that Kim spent weeks practicing with a mutant dancer!
WORLD’S FATTEST MONKEY FOUND
EAST RIDGE, TN – A young boy had the misfortune of discovering the world’s fattest spider monkey sitting in his back yard!
UGLY BAT BOY MEETS NAMESAKE
MANCHESTER, NH – An odd-looking cat called “Ugly Bat Boy” was revealed to the world last week. But is he related to Bat Boy in more than just name?
BAT BOY THE MUSICAL
“Big laughs…It’s remarkable what intelligent wit can accomplish – a jaggedly imaginative mix of skewering humor and energetic glee.” NY Times
SEVEN APHORISMS OF SUMMUM
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – A small religious group was denied erecting a granite monument in a Utah park with their tenants on it. But what are these “seven aphorisms”?