I’m madder than Al Sharpton with a busted bullhorn! I’ve heard about that affirmative action stuff but this is crazy!

Everybody knows Hillary Clinton wears the pants in that crazy family, but now she could go to jail for it!

I’m madder than a geisha in a tanning bed!

Today is Veteran’s Day, when we take a minute between 50% off mattress sales and Hitler Channel marathons to remember all the brave men who fought for America!

During that Watergate thing, they used to say “follow the money.” Now it’s more like “follow the ambulance!”

So the Commies lost two out of three big votes last night!

I feel as crazy as a bedbug in a cat house!

Man, this week just keeps getting better and better. By which I mean worse and worse!

I’m madder than Joe Lieberman at a popularity contest!

I’m madder than a fat kid at the end of the buffet line when the rice pudding is all gone!