Batney Spears
The Weekly World News has unearthed archival proof of Bat Boy’s infiltration of celebrity culture. Will his reign of terror never cease?!
Monthly Archives: August 2008
Former Jim Jones Acolyte Now CEO of Gatorade!
In need of a leadership shift, Gatorade hired former Jim Jones acolyte Jonathan Ratliff, who not only has been working closely with Gatorade developers for the past 12 years, but also played a pivotal role in the largest mass suicide in the past 1900 years.
Exclusive Video! Bat Boy in NYC!
See exclusive video of Batboy in the NYC subway system. The elusive freak of nature is seen in the Big Apple!
Corpse Plane To Paradise
“You’d be surprised how many people die down here every week,” said 63-year-old Timothy Kodera, Airborne Hygiene Consultant for the New York City Sanitation Department.
Middle East Aliens!
“No one would’ve believed that beneath a Middle Eastern desert extraterrestrials were conducting a vast, worldwide surveillance operation,” Israeli Army Major Joseph Dov revealed to Weekly World News. “That is, until we found them!”
To Little Fanfare, Margaret Thatcher Finally Admits To Being a Zombie
After years of being hounded by conspiracy theorists and journalists from alternative publications, reporter Michael “Skipper” Entwistle finally got Margaret Thatcher to admit she is a zombie.
Ed Anger Endorses John McCain For President!
I’m madder than A-Rod’s wife at a day-long Madonna concert. Can someone please explain to me why a Barack Obama presidency would be good for you and me? Me? I don’t get it.
Benjamin Franklin’s Shocking Secret
As recounted in his memoirs, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite during a storm to prove that lightning was, in fact, electricity. However, in a newly uncovered first draft of his autobiography, Franklin recounts how he also experienced a short-lived but strange side effect from the experiment.
Civil War Babies
During the Civil War, the Confederacy won a victory in the Battle of Chickamauga and the North’s need for more soldiers forced President Lincoln to create a new branch of the infantry.
Lonely Doctor is Suture Happy
Playboy Kurt Fulson has never made a proposal on his knee. “Though I have, in fact, just received one there,” the billionaire told Weekly World News.
