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Monthly Archives: August 2008

Batney Spears

The Weekly World News has unearthed archival proof of Bat Boy’s infiltration of celebrity culture. Will his reign of terror never cease?!

Former Jim Jones Acolyte Now CEO of Gatorade!

In need of a leadership shift, Gatorade hired former Jim Jones acolyte Jonathan Ratliff, who not only has been working closely with Gatorade developers for the past 12 years, but also played a pivotal role in the largest mass suicide in the past 1900 years.

Corpse Plane To Paradise

“You’d be surprised how many people die down here every week,” said 63-year-old Timothy Kodera, Airborne Hygiene Consultant for the New York City Sanitation Department.

Middle East Aliens!

“No one would’ve believed that beneath a Middle Eastern desert extraterrestrials were conducting a vast, worldwide surveillance operation,” Israeli Army Major Joseph Dov revealed to Weekly World News. “That is, until we found them!”

Benjamin Franklin’s Shocking Secret

As recounted in his memoirs, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite during a storm to prove that lightning was, in fact, electricity. However, in a newly uncovered first draft of his autobiography, Franklin recounts how he also experienced a short-lived but strange side effect from the experiment.

Civil War Babies

During the Civil War, the Confederacy won a victory in the Battle of Chickamauga and the North’s need for more soldiers forced President Lincoln to create a new branch of the infantry.