SENECA FALLS, W.VA – America’s favorite mutant was spotted in line this weekend to see the movie Milk.
Reginald Cunningham III
STONER MUMMY ATTACKS
LUXOR, EGYPT – A team of Archaeologists was attacked after removing an ancient marijuana stash from a priest’s tomb.
THE GOVERNATOR WORKS BIRTHDAY PARTIES
SACRAMENTO, CA – At a press conference earlier this week, actor turned Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that California was in its own fiscal emergency.
JINDAL IN TALKS WITH SATAN
BATON ROUGE, LA – After their crushing defeat in November the Republican Party was left with no clear leader.
JUPITER AND VENUS CITIZENS MOON EARTH
NEW HAVEN, CT – Astronomers have announced that Jupiter and Venus will shine unusually brightly during a conjunction tonight.
MADONNA BREAKS HIP ON TOUR
MIAMI, FL – Rounding out her North American tour on Saturday, Madonna broke her hip mid performance.
MANIGATOR TERRORISES MACY'S DAY PARADE
NEW YORK, NY – Macy’s 150th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade drew thousands to New York City yesterday including one unwelcome guest, Manigator.
PhD APE TAPPED FOR NEW VH1 SHOW
LOS ANGELES, CA – PhD Ape was called in by VH1 to host a new celebrity rehab show.
DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS BIGFOOT PROSTITUTE
SEATTLE, WA – For her special this Friday, Diane Sawyer interviewed several unique stories in the sex industry, including a Sasquatch who turned to prostitution to survive.