NEW YORK, NY – Ashrita Furman, a New York City resident, has become the first person to simultaneously hold 100 titles in the Guinness Book of World Records!
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EASTER BUNNY IN REHAB?
RANCHO MIRAGE, CA – A six foot tall rabbit was seen leaving the Betty Ford Clinic this week. Is the Easter Bunny trying to clean up before his big day?
CARL LANDRY SHOT IN LEG
UPDATE: Houston Rockets’ Carl Landry was shot in the leg early this morning during a failed robbery. Was the same leprechaun from Plaxico Burress’ injury involved?
MAN SUES HIMSELF FOR $8 MILLION
NEW YORK, NY – Wall Street executive Robert Rubin has successfully sued himself for $8 million.
WHERE’S OSAMA BIN LADEN?
NEW YORK, NY – Researchers have been using satellite-aided georgaphical analysis to pinpoint Osama bin Laden’s location, but he may be closer than they think.
COULTER OVERLOADS TODAY SHOW
NEW YORK, NY – NBC’s Today Show regretted re-booking right wing pundit, Ann Coulter, after the controversial writer went into overload on live television.
MERPEOPLE TO BUY CONEY ISLAND
NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.
HASSELBECK CURSES BUSH
NEW YORK, NY – The View’s resident Republican was snubbed by the White House, and she isn’t going down without a fight!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is one of four female hosts of ABC’s “The View”. Previously a contestant on “Survivor: The Australian Outback”, Hasselbeck fought her way onto the daytime talk show to become the conservative voice.
BAT DUO CLIMBS ROCKEFELLER TREE
NEW YORK, NY – As a means of celebrating both Christmas and Britney’s recent success, the bat pair have done the unthinkable.