WASHINGTON, DC – Passing by an huge majority, the House of Representatives set a new precedent in fiscal oversight: seizing executives’ pants and first-born child!
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JAPANESE CITIZENS BECOME ANIMATED
TOKYO – A number of Japanese citizens have become afflicted with what can only be described as a reanimation.
BRAZILIAN WANDERING SPIDER FOUND IN TULSA
TULSA, OK – One of the deadliest spiders in the world was found wandering far from home – in an Oklahoma grocery store!
SOMETHING FOR EVERY BAT BOY
BOSTON, MA – A local citizen decided to spice up Pepsi’s new ad campaign banners in Boston’s South Station with Bat Boy.
WAL-MART GANG
PORT SAINT LUCIE, FL – Gangs are springing up in Wal-Marts around the country, but shoppers continue to risk it in search of good deals.
MAYAN PANELS SHOW UFO
GUATEMALA – Archaeologists have unearthed large carved panels in the jungles of northern Guatemala, that seem to depict two beings surrounding a UFO!
TERRAFUGIA’S FLYING CAR
PLATTSBURGH, NY – The future is here! Terrafugia has just announced that the Transition flying car has made its first successful flight.
SARAH PALIN’S PORTFOLIO COVER
JUNEAU, AK – Sarah Palin has landed the cover of Portfolio’s April 2009 issue with a photo of her wearing a Bigfoot skin coat, and she is not pleased.
CHARLES GRASSLEY CONFRONTS AIG EXECS
NEW YORK, NY – AIG executives are leaving the planet to avoid paying back bonuses, but Charles Grassley won’t let that stop him from getting justice.
POSEIDON: I AM ALTERNATIVE ENERGY
The thunder of Zeus be upon you, O mortals! I, the great and terrible Poseidon, can supply you with boundless alternative energy.