Bigfoot has joined the hundreds of famous celebrities who have left their footprints outside the renowned Grauman’s Chinese Theatre
Unearthly beer bottles scattered on the floor suggest that the aliens had been flying inebriated
“The show has every worn-out cliché you’ve seen on TV a million times,” declares linguist Barry Malford of San Diego
Pope Benedict XVI has named an alien to minister a parish in the southwestern United States
“Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a cat caught in a blender. In the midst of all that shrieking, I could’ve sworn I heard my name.”
New cracks have appeared in the 61-year cover-up of a fatal UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico
And they’re finally ripe for slaughter!
“After spending decades trying to decipher crop circles, we have found they are nothing more than obscenity-laced insults”
A 54-year-old waitress says a space alien ate two washer loads of clothes right off her line!
“They must have been strong aliens because that Bigfoot must have weighed at least 500 pounds,” said Jeffrey Antis.