Pope Benedict XVI has named an alien to minister a parish in the southwestern United States
“Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a cat caught in a blender. In the midst of all that shrieking, I could’ve sworn I heard my name.”
New cracks have appeared in the 61-year cover-up of a fatal UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico
And they’re finally ripe for slaughter!
“After spending decades trying to decipher crop circles, we have found they are nothing more than obscenity-laced insults”
A 54-year-old waitress says a space alien ate two washer loads of clothes right off her line!
“They must have been strong aliens because that Bigfoot must have weighed at least 500 pounds,” said Jeffrey Antis.
Orthodontist Gerald Fixit was sleeping soundly when he was abruptly awakened by a rumbling. “My house started to shake,” said Fixit. “There were intense, bright lights shining into my window, blinding me.
“No one would’ve believed that beneath a Middle Eastern desert extraterrestrials were conducting a vast, worldwide surveillance operation,” Israeli Army Major Joseph Dov revealed to Weekly World News. “That is, until we found them!”
Late last week, NASA received a desperate — and surprise — SOS from the planet Pluto. “They wanted us to send heat lamps immediately,” explained Communications Officer Sunny Cavalier. “They need them to combat global cooling.