PERSON, WOMAN, BAT, CAMERA, WINGS! President Trump challenged his competitors Joe Biden and Bat Boy to take a cognitive test. Since Donald Trump “aced” his test and identified an elephant in record time, he was confident that he would score higher than Biden and Bat Boy “combined.” Bat Boy quickly took the challenge. Dr. Marc … READ MORE
A MEDICAL MARVEL! TAMPA, FL – 28-year-old Susan Wright, a veteran dolphin trainer at Ocean Realm, who recently married the love of her life, Squeaky, announced to her friends and family that she is pregnant! Some family members celebrated by jumping into the aquarium with the happy couple, while other family members seemed to have … READ MORE
BAT BOY 2020 CAMPAIGN READY TO TAKE ON TRUMP AND BIDEN! WASHINGTON, DC. – At a press conference at the Lincoln Memorial, Bat Boy announced that Bigfoot will be his 2020 Vice Presidential.running mate! Bat Boy had originally planned on selecting Bigfoot, but then Bigfoot went missing for several month. There was a lot of … READ MORE
NASA confirms that they are from Planet Zeeba! Aliens from Planet Zeeba were flying over Houston every night over this past week.There were numerous sightings of strange objects caught on camera. And nobody could explain it, until today. Hundreds of citizens, including Dr. Jack Blanton, captured the images on his digital camera from a vantage … READ MORE
HOME ON THE RANGE. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BUFFALO DON’T ROAM. Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam… and eat breakfast? And watch TV? And cuddle up in front of the fireplace? No problem. When Bailey D. Buffalo was just a calf, he was abandoned by his mother and adopted b y Jim and … READ MORE
“HE REACHED INOT THE CUP TO GET HIS BALL – AND DISAPPEARED! Four golfers in North Carolina had just finished playing the 16th hole when one reached in to retrieve his ball and was sucked into oblivion. The other three played through. But after cocktails, the linkers decided to investigate their pal’s disappearance since they’d … READ MORE
New aerosol spray eliminates demons, ghosts & ghouls! Pesky demons, devils, ghosts, and ghouls will head for the hills and never come back. All you have to do is hit them with Spook Spurn! It’s the exciting new aerosol spray that savvy marketers call “Exorcist in a Can.” “It really works,” gushes Marlon Brattleborough, chief … READ MORE
HOLY HANG-UP A Tibetan monk thought he had achieved the spiritual goal of nirvana when he levitated more than six feet. But inspiration soon turned to frustration: The holy man is stuck where he floats, and can’t get back down to earth! Choden Thubten, 72, has been hanging in midair for man six weeks at … READ MORE
Rock-hard 88-year-old can kick butt! Great-grandmother Becky Thompson is in super shape – because she pumps iron four hours every day! The gray-haired Canadian great-grandma can jerk an incredible 210 pounds and can bench press 275 pounds for 7 reps. And she does it being only 5 feet, 5 inches tall, weighing only 135 pounds. … READ MORE
ET TU, GLUTUS? ROME, ITALY – Roman historians made a ground-breaking discovery today. For over 2000 years, the world has believed that Julius Caesar was assassinated. Historians have said that the Roman dictator was murdered by a group of Roman senators on March 15th, in 44 BC. This happened during a meeting of the Senate at the Theater … READ MORE