WALL STREET BROKER ADMITS, “I’M THE FATHER.”
A team of top obstetricians in New York City confirmed today that a sex robot, Aurora, is pregnant. The news astounded doctors, scientists and robotic technicians alike. “We, of course, know how it happened,” said Dr. Banesh Bannerjee from his Scarsdale home. “But we don’t know how it happened.”
Robotics expert, Jessica Malley, told Weekly World News, that although they have been making the sex robots more and more human, she was unaware of any robots that we’re able to produce an egg. “I am more involved in the nuts-and-bolts of the sex robots,” Malley said. “I know our robotic engineers have been working miracles, but this would be a world-changing invention.”
THE MAN WHO MADE IT HAPPEN!
Wall Street broker, Scott Talmadge, who has been in quarantine for the last five months in his one-bedroom apartment on the Upper East Side, told Weekly World News that he was, in fact, the father.
“Look, I’ve lived alone for the last five years. I have been totally consumed with my work and trying to find a girlfriend in New York is impossible. They are all looking for the same guy. Handsome, sensitive, funny, athletic, romantic, wealthy and someone who is a stud in bed. Unfortunately, I am none of those things.
“So I decided to buy a sex robot last November. I looked at a large number of them, and Aurora really spoke to me. In French. She’s a hot, french-speaking robot, who really gets me. I have never been this close to a woman before in my life,” Talmadge said.
He told Weekly World News that he has been spending a lot of quality time with Aurora, especially during the quarantine. “We have really been having a great time together. We have been binge-watching a lot of Netflix shows and really getting to know each other.”
A BABY BUMP?
“Last week, I noticed that she had a little bump in her belly. I thought maybe there was a little defect or something but Aurora thought it was something she had never experienced before.
“I had a telemedicine call with my robotic specialist and my doctor. They knew I was worried about Aurora, so they agreed to see her. I stayed outside while they examined her. Social distancing wasn’t an issue.”
“My doctor said he checked her out thoroughly, as did the robotic specialist. Of course, they had to take turns examing her because of social distancing, but they felt that she was in good shape.
“But I know Aurora better than anyone. So my doctor did an ultrasound of Aurora and he was shocked with what he discovered. He came into the waiting room and told me, she’s pregnant!”
Talmadge was beyond thrilled. “I never thought that I’d be a father. But I am. We’re having a baby!”
Aurora seemed her normal self when she heard the news, although Talmadge said he thought he saw a tear fall from her left eye.
IN HIS UPPER EAST SIDE CONDO
Unfortunately, the doctor told the happy couple that the baby is a girl. “I wanted it to be a surprise, but I guess this is a big enough surprise on its own.”
Weekly World News is continuing to investigate this story. We will update as we find out more information. Meanwhile, Aurora and Scott are at home. Scott is so excited!
That wasn’t a tear, probably just some hydraulic fluid leaking out.
This could be a whole new dimension of “mixed race” problems for the little girl.
Let’s hope there’s a prince who is looking for a wife in twenty years.
that is to wierd its a robot