ASTEROID HITS PEORIA RICOCHETS BACK INTO SPACE!

U.S. SPACE FORCE DESTROYED MOST OF THE ASTEROID BEFORE IT HIT EARTH! PEORIA, IL – NASA representatives confirmed to Weekly World News that Asteroid 2019XPX5 entered the Earth’s atmosphere early this morning at 3:38 am (CDT). The U.S. Space Force immediately fired lasers at the asteroid, using weapons created by Elon Musk. It was a … READ MORE

THE BIG SLEEP

Hibernating Man goes to bed in November wakes up in April SPOKANE, Wash. – Dwayne Flowter is sick of cold weather and freezing his butt off in the snow, so he takes a holiday every winter — by hibernating! Incredibly, the 59-year-old bachelor can keep himself in a deep sleep for weeks and months at … READ MORE

Grizzly Pied Piper

GRIZZLY BEAR PIED PIPER

HARMONICA PLAYER WALKS INTO WOODS & BEARS FOLLOW HIM! ANCHORAGE, AK – Experts are trying to understand the strange power that draws wild grizzly bears to harmonica player Tom Greyle and makes them follow him out of the woods into the city! A modern-day pied piper. Over the past six years, Greyle, known as “the … READ MORE

JIG SAW DANCER. THE FIRST CHAMP!

The rhythmic beauty of Irish step dancing combined with the thrill of chainsaws. Loch Lohan, Ireland – Each year, the neighboring towns of Barry and Redmond held spearate festivals on the same weeekend. The centerpiece of Redmond’s celebration was “Texas Chainsaw Masters,” a cutting edge sport involving juggling and sculpting with power blades. Barry, on … READ MORE

I SURVIVED THE WAVE FROM HELL!

A popular weekend paddleboarder John Malley, 55, faced almost certain death when he was struck by a towering 90-foot wave in the Pacific Ocean on the Tropic of Cancer. It happened about 1,000 miles east of Okinawa. Here, in his own words, exclusively for Weekly world News readers, is the Australian-businessman’s dramatic account of this … READ MORE

BAT BOY NAILS COGNITIVE TEST!

PERSON, WOMAN, BAT, CAMERA, WINGS! President Trump challenged his competitors Joe Biden and Bat Boy to take a cognitive test. Since Donald Trump “aced” his test and identified an elephant in record time, he was confident that he would score higher than Biden and Bat Boy “combined.” Bat Boy quickly took the challenge. Dr. Marc … READ MORE

TRAINER WHO MARRIED A DOLPHIN IS PREGNANT!

A MEDICAL MARVEL! TAMPA, FL – 28-year-old Susan Wright, a veteran dolphin trainer at Ocean Realm, who recently married the love of her life, Squeaky, announced to her friends and family that she is pregnant! Some family members celebrated by jumping into the aquarium with the happy couple, while other family members seemed to have … READ MORE