BAT BOY 2020 CAMPAIGN READY TO TAKE ON TRUMP AND BIDEN!
WASHINGTON, DC. – At a press conference at the Lincoln Memorial, Bat Boy announced that Bigfoot will be his 2020 Vice Presidential.running mate!
Bat Boy had originally planned on selecting Bigfoot, but then Bigfoot went missing for several month. There was a lot of pressure on Bat Boy to pick another running mate, but he stuck to his work, to his principles.
Through an interpreter, Bat Boy told Weekly World News that he is “thrilled to have Bigfoot on the ticket. Together we plan to save America. We want everyone to love another again. Right wing and left wing! We are one!”
Bat Boy made two other announcements at the press conference. First, he announced that P’lod, who has advised every president since Ronald Reagan, will be his 2020 campaign manager. This was a major development because representatives of both the Biden and Trump campaigns were trying to lure P’Lod to their side. But P’lod believes that Bat Boy has what it takes to be the first third party candidate to win the Presidency of the United States.
P’lod made just a brief statement to the press: “Aliens from every planet in the universe support Bat Boy for President. It’s time for a major change. A time to bring hope back to America. We will run. We will win!”
ANOTHER BIG WIN FOR BAT BOY!
The other major announcement by Bat Boy had to do with his cabinet. Even though it is a bit premature, Bat Boy wanted the world to know that Ph.D Ape would be his Secretary of State. Through his interpreter, Bat Boy told reporters: “Ph.D Ape is the most intelligent being on this planet. He will represent the United States better than any Secretary of State in our history and he will bring the world together.” Leaders of the world, including Boris Johnson of Great Britain, heralded the choice. “Ph.D Ape has the respect of ALL world leaders. We can’t wait to sit down with him and hear his solutions to all our global problems.”
Bat Boy promised there would be more announcements in the coming weeks. And he promised to aggressively campaign in all 50 states.
Weekly World News has several reporters embedded in the Bat Boy/Bigfoot 2020 campaign. It will be an exciting summer and fall!