goblins

HALLOWEEN IN 2025: BACK IN MY DAY, IT WAS APPLES AND GHOST STORIES – NOW IT’S A $20 BILLION CIRCUS OF SIN AND SPARKLY WITCHES!

by

(And if you don’t like it, go hug a liberal pumpkin, you snowflake!) Listen up, you candy-hoarding, fog-machine-fondling freaks of the night! It’s October 31, 2025, and here I am, hunkered down in my bunker with a shotgun loaded with rock salt and a bowl of plain old Hershey bars . The kind of bars … READ MORE

GHOST-B-GONE

by

New aerosol spray eliminates demons, ghosts & ghouls! Pesky demons, devils, ghosts, and ghouls will head for the hills and never come back. All you have to do is hit them with Spook Spurn! It’s the exciting new aerosol spray that savvy marketers call “Exorcist in a Can.” “It really works,” gushes Marlon Brattleborough, chief … READ MORE