SOUTH AMERICA – King Penguins are on the move again.

MARBLEHEAD, MA — An empty Massachusetts house called police for help.

The air you’re breathing is adding inches to your waistline!

NEW YORK, NY – Two major Television networks are taking a strong stance against a new Lane Bryant ad!

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama held a bipartisan Health Care Summit in Washington yesterday. To keep opposing factions together he summoned the snow gods to bring a blizzard!

The “Road to Nowhere” in fact leads to a delicious, yet invisible to human eyes, Alien-franchised Quizno’s