PLYMOUTH, MA –Â Confused NASA scientists obliterated Plymouth Rock with a laser-guide missile.
president obama
GLENN BECK REGRETS COMMENTS ABOUT OBAMA
NEW YORK, NY – Glenn Beck may have put his foot in his mouth and is now regretting his comments about the president!
THE NORTH KOREAN EGG CRISIS
PYONGYANG – The Defense Department has learned that North Korea is behind the tainted eggs found in American grocery stores.
OBAMA IS XENU
WASHINGTON – The White House drops a bombshell. President Obama is Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy.
THE UNEMPLOYED FORM A UNION
DETROIT – Out-of-work Americans are signing up in record numbers for a union, the Union of Unemployed Americans.
NATIONAL RECALL DAY!
WASHINGTON – President Obama declared today, August 18th, “National Recall Day.”  So… send it back!
BLAGO JURORS WIN POWERBALL LOTTERY
CHICAGO – On the same night jurors acquitted former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich of all but one charge, they won the $64 million Powerball lottery.
BOTOX SHORTAGE GRIPS BEVERLY HILLS!
BEVERLY HILLS – Plastic surgeons across the city have confirmed a serious Botox shortage. There’s fighting in the streets!
MEXICAN CANTINA TO BE BUILT AT THE ALAMO
SAN ANTONIO, TX – A city panel cleared the way for construction of a Mexican cantina at The Alamo.