MOustached Melon Causes Stir TOPKEA, KA – A local woman got the surprise of her life yesterday morning. She discovered the contents of her refrigerator had joined the No-Shave November movement. When Agnes Aldrich opened the door of her refrigerator she found that most of the chilly items had grown facial hair overnight. “ I’ve … READ MORE
SANDOUPING, CHINA – Seven alien spaceships from Planet Gootan landed in this town near the Yangtze River in China. Citizens of Sandouping have seen UFO activity before, but there has never been a reported landing of alien spaceships. Chinese authorities have confirmed to Weekly World News that seven spaceships landed near the Three Gorges Dam … READ MORE
DiVA Christian has the biggest butt in the world! OXFORD, MS – Diva Christian can’t imagine anything worse than dieting. Her massive bottom is 5ft 3ins across and weighs a whopping 120 pounds – about the same as Lindsay Lohan holding twenty pounds of coke.Diva loves her butt. She has the World’s Biggest Butt. “I … READ MORE
Woodbeast came out to support Bigfoot’s Vice Presidential campaign in 2020. SUNBURY, PA – Local residents have always whispered about Bigfoot sightings, but they picked up considerably over the course of 2019. “It used to be once or twice a year,” said Jason Eckhart, who owns a hardware store. “Then it was once or twice a month. … READ MORE
What does HE have up his sleeve? When billionaire and former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg entered the Democratic presidential race, President Donald Trump said he wasn’t worried. “I know Michael,” he said. “He’s not going to do well…He doesn’t have the magic.” But little does Trump know that Bloomberg has been performing for months … READ MORE
Animal Rights Activists Immobilize Downtown Los Angeles To Protest Worldwide Itty Bitty Elephant Trade Is this the end for Itty Bitty Elephants? A record-breaking number of animal rights activists have descended on downtown Los Angeles, completely immobilizing activity in the second-largest city in the US. Traffic is at a standstill for a 2-mile radius surrounding … READ MORE
Subpoenaed by Congress. The only being who can tell the truth! Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff shocked many in Washington by subpoenaing Ph.D. Ape to testify to Congress with regard to the impeachment of President Trump. There has been a great deal of confusion and controversy surrounding the impeachment inquiry that was launched in the … READ MORE
THE GOVERNMENT FEARS A SECRET ATTACK. CIA spy satellite photos reveal that the Chinese have been secretly digging the world’s largest underground tunnel – to the U.S.! “What has us concerned,” says CIA spokesperson Steven Thorley, “is that Chinese are hiding their true intentions. The Chinese keep reassuring us that they are constructing the tunnel … READ MORE
Weekly World News regularly reviews top tech releases. Major ChatStat updates tend to come like clockwork, but the last six months have seen an acceleration in improvements that is almost certainly the result of sharper competition. Deltax and Moko both moved into sixth-generation products over the summer, and as a result, Riff Studios Studios forged ahead, not … READ MORE
They flipped for each other! TAMPA, FL – 28-year-old Susan Wright, a veteran dolphin trainer at Ocean Realm, recently requested two weeks off to go on her honeymoon. A discerning dater, Susan met her husband while working together at the world-famous marine park. “I’ve never been so happy,” said Wright. “I was always worried I’d … READ MORE