Author Archives: Samuel T. Westbrook
PHILADELPHIA, PA – As Madam Kristen Davis debates whether to publish her tell-all biography, she has turned to a longtime friend and alleged client for counsel: PhD Ape!
WASHINGTON, DC – Passing by an huge majority, the House of Representatives set a new precedent in fiscal oversight: seizing executives’ pants and first-born child!
COLUMBIA, SC – Governor Mark Sanford had the courage to call out the Obama Administration on what everyone else was afraid to say – the Zimbabwification of America!
WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking move, John McCain supported President Obama’s Iraq troop withdrawal plan, confirming recent allegations – McCain is an alien pod person!
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Long running Internet rumors have been confirmed as the wife of San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom’s acting debut hits shelves this week, featuring a steamy love scene “with a twist”: a supernatural threesome!
BOSTON, MA – Arch-conservative Rick Santelli plans to throw the world’s most expensive Tea Party to protest of the Stimulus Plan, serving hundred dollar bills steeped in hot water!
LOUISVILLE, KY – Appearing for the first time in hundreds of years, Nostradamus has taken a human form to predict the death of a Supreme Court Justice!
LOS ANGELES, CA – Hollywood’s biggest night was marred by its own vanity when a 32-minute tribute video put most of its celebrity audience to sleep!
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama announced today his next move in his crusade to get the economy back on track – end off-world banking!
VATICAN CITY – What was to be a diplomatic mission became a controversial event when Pope Benedict XVI performed an impromptu exorcism on Nancy Pelosi!