Author Archives: Pierce Blodyn
U.S. ENLISTS 10 YEAR OLDS IN THE ARMY
WASHINGTON – U.S. Army is now allowing minors to serve in the military in preparation for a war with Libya.
DOCTOR DISCOVERS CURE FOR CHRONIC CONSTIPATION
ARLINGTON, VA – Physiologist finds that a popular mobile phone game cures chronic constipation.
EASTERN COUGAR EXTINCT
NEW JERSEY – Horny young men with no ambition fear for their survival with news of the extinction of the eastern cougar.
STATUE OF LIBERTY SHUTDOWN
NEW YORK, NY – Statue of Liberty to be shut down due to lack of interest.
GIRLS SCOUT COOKIES SCANDAL
NEW YORK, NY – Girl Scouts of America were charged with numerous counts of kidnapping, false imprisonment and slavery.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA ARRESTED ON WAY TO IHOP
LOS ANGELES, CA – Christina Aguilera arrested while seeking free flapjacks.
RETIREMENT HOME HAS RASCAL RACES
MIAMI, FL – Shady Pines to hold its 25th Annual Rascal Race.
BJ PENN TO BECOME A POET
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – After the UFC 127 majority draw BJ Penn calls it quits to get creative.
KEENAN CAHILL TO TOUR WITH 50 CENT
NEW YORK, NY – 50 Cent announced today that he is going on tour with Keenan Cahill.
BIGFOOT SELLS OUT
NEW YORK, NY – Bigfoot strikes it rich in the big city.










