WASHINGTON, DC – Shutdown crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for guidance and financial aid.
WASHINGTON – U.S. to develop giant reflective cones to keep the sun up 24/7.
WASHINGTON – With supplies of execution drugs disappearing, the U.S. has turned to more primitive methods of execution.
ROCHESTER, MN – Captain Crunch hospitalized.
WASHINGTON – U.S. Army is now allowing minors to serve in the military in preparation for a war with Libya.
NEW JERSEY – Horny young men with no ambition fear for their survival with news of the extinction of the eastern cougar.
WEST BURKE, NH – Gun shop sells hand gun to an eight year old.
WASHINGTON – A phenomenon known as natural decrease is becoming a pseudo pandemic within the U.S.