I’m madder than a giraffe with tonsillitis!
zombies
ZOMBIE DENIED SOCIAL SECURITY
MIAMI, FL – One of the first cases that will come before new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is a discrimination suit.
ZOMBIE VERSUS KIDS
TOKYO – A group of Japanese children are convinced a zombie is attacking their home… so they fight back!
SENATOR PROMISES “NO MORE VOODOO”
WASHINGTON, D. C. – Sen. Bill Waverly confused a crowd of supporters when he pledged “the phase-out of all voodoo rituals in the hallowed halls of the U.S. Senate.”
MY BOYFRIEND IS A ZOMBIE
AMSTERDAM – Accident victim Godfried Lansing was declared dead and lay in a morgue for 48 spine-chilling hours before suddenly bouncing back to life.
ZOMBIE ATTACK IMMINENT
AUSTIN, TX – A group of brave citizens hijacked a roadside sign to warn of a possible zombie outbreak!
KATE BECKINSALE STUCK AS ZOMBIE
LOS ANGELES, CA – Horror movie actress Kate Beckinsale applied zombie make-up to her face six weeks ago and hasn’t been able to remove it!
DAY OF THE DEAD ZOMBIE ATTACK
BAJA, MEXICO – Mexican villagers trying to break a dance record on the Day of the Dead were in for an unwelcome surprise.
Amish Use Zombies for Labor
“The town was filled with zombies, and the Jenkins needed their barn raised. Seemed like the natural thing to do.”
To Little Fanfare, Margaret Thatcher Finally Admits To Being a Zombie
After years of being hounded by conspiracy theorists and journalists from alternative publications, reporter Michael “Skipper” Entwistle finally got Margaret Thatcher to admit she is a zombie.