“To Err is Simian” Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp Alas, Uncle Lancelot saw it coming: the stock-picking chimp violated his cardinal rule – “don’t fall in love with a stock” in this case, cryptocurrencies. So I’m back writing this column because I need the $ and since you’re reading, you probably do too! So let’s step … READ MORE
ST. MARTINVILLE, LA – Deep in the bayou of Louisiana a strange creature has been found – one that was once human! “Me and my deputy were on patrol when a young woman and her father darted out from the bayou and ran in front of our car,” Sheriff Jasper Austin told Weekly World News. … READ MORE
WASHINGTON, DC – Three giant alien spaceships are approaching earth and should land on the planet in early November of this year. The United States is officially on “alien red alert” and the rest of the globe is preparing for the arrival of three gigantic alien spaceships that appear to be hostile. The aliens spaceships … READ MORE
MONTECITO, CA – Greek scientists doing research at the University of California at Santa Barbara have announced a major discovery. They’ve found Pandora’s Box in the attic of Oprah Winfrey! It is the 8,600-year-old box that has the potential to unleash horrors beyond belief into the world. According to Greek mythology, back in the Golden … READ MORE
WASHINGTON, DC – Vladimir Putin has teamed up with Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, and popular alien, P’Lod to plot a strategy on the impeachment of President Donald Trump. Putin was in the nation’s capital last week for a series of private meetings with Pelosi on how to best get the President out of … READ MORE
BEIJING – An incredible slimming soap that’s been clinically proven to help people shed up to twenty pounds a month without diet or exercise. It tones your entire body and wipes away all wrinkles. It is taking the world by storm! The amazing seaweed-based soap is packed with iodine as well as nutrient-rich . and … READ MORE
ASHTABULA, OH – Divers recently made a startling discovery proving the existence of The Lake Erie Monster. A team of Weekly World News reporters tracked down seven witnesses who have seen The Lake Erie Monster (also known as “Lemmie”) in the flesh! WWN reporters obtained audiotaped interviews with men and women who sighted Lemmie between … READ MORE
ST. LOUIS, MO – Siamese Kangaroo has been stalking Kanye West for the last month and he showed up again, this time at Kanye’s Sunday Service in St. Louis on Saturday, October 5th. The Siamese Kangaroo is focusing on Kanye like a laser. He’s keeping a close eye on Kanye, stalking him for some reason. … READ MORE
ANCHORAGE, AK – Bigfoot was spotted in the woods outside the city after leaving St. Elias Specialty Hospital. Bigfoot was taken to the hospital a month ago with a torn ACL. Bigfoot underwent a nine-hour surgery. Doctors wanted the beast to make a full recovery, but it was a difficult procedure. “Needless to say, we … READ MORE
WASHINGTON, DC – Today Donald Trump took the bold, daring step to send dragons, zombies and flying monkeys to the border. “We need to protect our country. And it is my job to make sure we are safe. The wall is big and beautiful and we’re building fifty to one hundred miles every day, but … READ MORE