WASHINGTON, DC – Three giant alien spaceships are approaching earth and should land on the planet in early November of this year.
The United States is officially on “alien red alert” and the rest of the globe is preparing for the arrival of three gigantic alien spaceships that appear to be hostile.
The aliens spaceships are confirmed to be from Planet Gootan, which lies just outside the Milky Way, nearest Jupiter. The U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials, in coordination with NASA (and the Russian and Chinese space programs), is tracking the situation by the hour.
“We expect the alien spaceships to enter the earth’s atmosphere sometime on November 28th or 29th,” said Dr. John Malley, the top extraterrestrial expert on the U.N. Panel. “It is not clear what the Gootans plan to do on earth, but unlike the aliens from Planet Zeeba that have been invading earth for the last fourteen months, the Gootans have been known to be hostile. Governments around the world are planning for an attack.”
WHO WILL STEP UP TO DEFEND EARTH?
There is one man who plans on saving earth: Vladimir Putin.
“The world does not need to fear anything,” said Vladimir Putin. “Russia will handle the Gootans on our own. If the world is attacked, it is the Russians that will lead the defense of the planet. We are the strongest people and the bravest. I fear no Gootan!”
Even though the United States has the largest and strongest military on the planet, President Obama is once again “leading from the rear” on the alien attack – allowing Putin to take charge.
“It’s outrageous! The President is allowing the Russians and the Chinese to take the lead in defending Earth and the U.S.,” said Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. “We need a President who is willing to take on aliens, and defend our country!”
President Trump did reportedly say that he is looking forward to “talking to the Gootans after they arrive.”
“Talking to the Gootans! Is Trump crazy?” said Presidential candidate Joe Biden. “The Gootans don’t want to talk, they are like the Syrians, they just want to, you know, be in Syria and do the things that Syrians do and we need someone who can do that and eat pizza at the same time!”
WWN has reporters embedded around the globe and will keep readers updated on the alien attack as it unfolds…