ST. MARTINVILLE, LA – Deep in the bayou of Louisiana a strange creature has been found – one that was once human!
“Me and my deputy were on patrol when a young woman and her father darted out from the bayou and ran in front of our car,” Sheriff Jasper Austin told Weekly World News. “My Deputy, Punchy, slammed on the brakes, just missing Darlene and Jack Thompson. They were scared out of their goddamned wits.”
The Thompsons said they’d been out collecting frogs, drinking moonshine, when something approached them from the water,” Sheriff Austin continued. “Thinking it was an amphibian of some large size, they scampered up a nearby tree. What they saw was like nothing they’d ever seen before. It was a half-man, half alligator – what they call ’round here a “Manigator.” It had come lurching from the bog and seemed dazed. Scuttling around for a few moments the creature quickly vanished back into the bayou.”
NOT THE FIRST SIGHTING
“It wasn’t the first time I’d heard such nonsense about these critters,” the sheriff added, “the past few years, all over the county, I’d been hearing about a man-alligator poaching chickens and the like. Even the Choctaw Indians have a legend about alligator people. After we dropped the boys off, Punchy and I decided to investigate and put those crazy rumors to bed once and for all.”
The two law enforcement professionals drove to the edge of the bayou where the Thompsons had seen the Manigator and started tromping through the water. “There were large tracks leading to the edge of the bayou,” Sheriff Austin told Weekly World News. They were “gator” prints all right and – strangest thing – the critter had human handprints as well.
“Suddenly, we heard a low guttural cry and from behind a cypress grove charged the very creature the Thompson’s had described. He had a near-human head and upper torso on the body of a ‘gator’ – big nasty tail and all.”
“He looked a bit sickly in the face, but his body was all muscle. Strong looking beast.” Austin’s Deputy Punchy got a bit nervous and fired the gun at the Manigator. It gave out a scream and slithered back into the bayou.
Darlene Thompson felt bad for the creature and dove in to help him, which alarmed the Sheriff and his Deputies. Before they could react, her father dove in and pulled her out.
They all stood by the edge of the bayou waiting for signs of the manigator, but there was nothing but silence.
Over the last twenty years, there have been a number of sightings of “manigators” in Florida and Alabama. The first manigator was spotted in the Everglades twelve years ago, but this was the first sighting in Louisiana.
In 2007, authorities first saw the Manigator and tried to catch him, but he got away. They did, however, find an old broken-down cabin with over 200 manigator eggs incubating. Authorities believe they destroyed all the eggs, but apparently there were hundreds more.
Sheriff Austin and his team are desperate to find this Louisiana Manigator. “We don’t want him dying alone out in our bayou. We will find him and bring him in.”
Weekly World News reporters are following this story closely.
3 thoughts on “HALF-MAN, HALF-ALLIGATOR!”
There are no counties in Louisiana. Duh!
Louisiana has Parishes, not Counties, the Sheriff of St. Martin Parish is Becket Breaux, and the officer pictured is Clay Higgins, a reserve police officer in Louisiana, and now a US representative for Louisiana’s third congressional district. Nice try though.
it aint that deep my nigga